


It's gonna be okay

by 27kb



Series: Our Little Family [2]
Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fluff, Injury, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 15:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12685059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27kb/pseuds/27kb
Summary: Mustard wants to know something.





	1. Chapter 1

With time, Mustard learned that touching her grandmother was out of place.  
It wasn't like she ever told her, but sometimes Wasabi seemed to be struggling with it so bad—her eyes unfocussed, hands shaking or just a intelligible gesture portrayed on her face—, that the girl felt like she had made something bad for just reaching for her hand in the street.

  
She was quite young, and she stopped altogether trying to reach for her only family for fear of being rejected one day and for ever.

  
And there were fleeting gestures she didn't miss, like Wasabi putting a hand over her shoulder the first day she assisted to high school, or the way she'd pat her head every birthday, her eyes beaming at her beyond the small tint of uncomfortableness, like she was pushing too much for her sake.

  
And the ginger didn't like it much, even if she appreciated the way her grandmother tried to show she cared, that she loved her— even if she so much craved for it. It was unfair, she felt, even though she didn't know why Wasabi had such trouble to make contact.

And Mustard knew that Wasabi was the same way with everybody, but only tried to touch her the most for support, and swallow her discomfort whenever she had to shake her hands with other people upon meeting them. That made that a lot of people considered her grandmother a cold woman (look at her, Mustard thought she could hear the voices in others head saying, she won't even hug her grandchild on her graduation day, but give her a small side hug.)

  
It made her blood boil, nobody knew about her family enough to be talking to their backs, no matter what they have. So Mustard realized she wanted to know, it irked her the way she always questioned stuff in silence.

  
At dinner, the same very night, Mustard had decided to ask her what was holding her back for years.

  
Her small pet, Hotdog, was just sleeping over her lap unaware of her owner nervousness.

  
Wasabi seemed to detect it, and before she could ask what was wrong, Mustard opened her mouth.

  
"Gran?"

  
She blinked, and lowered her fork. "What is it?"

  
"You hate being touched, right?" she muttered more like an assumption. "Why is that?"

  
Wasabi seemed to catch it so fast, she wondered for how long was she expecting this question. "It's not like I hate it-" therefore , I don't hate you. "it's just makes me feel a little bad."

  
Mustard's heart shrink a little, remembering the amount of times she ran and hugged her grandmother when younger. But she was five or six years, she couldn't have known better.

  
She blinked trying to make the cloud on her eyes dissipate. "Is it my fault?" Mustard wondered it for so so long that finally saying it out loud put a rock in her throat.

  
Wasabi looked bewildered, but then she smiled. "Never was it your fault. I... been like this for a long time. Long before I adopted you." Her eyes were hard to read in the dim light of the kitchen. "Some... bad things happened to me during my research overseas. Some things that made me the woman that I am today." It seemed really hard for Wasabi to put on words what was on her mind, and the younger girl felt like she was pushing too much.

  
"I'm sorry." she said quietly. "I just wanted to know what to do."

  
Wasabi blinked. "What to do?"

  
"To help."

  
"Oh." And Wasabi smiled, her eyes coming back to that cheerful aura that always had when she was comfortable. "But you're helping me...You always were."

  
Mustard gave her a puzzled look. "How come?" she couldn't really think how did she made her grandmother's struggle bearable.

  
"You're my sun, and ... even if I feel like I'm gonna burn, instead you of getting close to me, you allow me to reach out when I'm ready. And I appreciate that."  
Normally, she'd be embarrased to hear something like that, but her heart was all but relieved to listen her Grandma's voice.

  
"Oh..." she said lamely, and Wasabi chuckled.

  
"I'm working on it, and I don't know how much it'll take, but I hope you can bear with me until."

 

At the next day, Mustard painted a canvas in their studio, greens and purples filling the material.

  
Wasabi got home with the smell of paint spray engulfing the whole house, and found the poster just laying at the entrance of her room.

  
"There's nothing wrong with you" it read, with big fancy handwriting. "And I will always love you no matter what."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took five years for Wasabi to let out her story for her granddaughter to hear.

It took five years for Wasabi to let out her story for her granddaughter to hear.

Countless nights she had spent on her life suffering the weight of nightmares awakening her in the middle of the night after the incidents that almost took her life.  
And even if it wasn't only once, she knew what were the risks of her profession.

Being a scientist was never easy for Wasabi but the rewards and discoveries made it almost all pain worth it.

The first time she almost drowns below the deep ocean, her suit's rope and oxygen tube got mingled in each other. She has no idea how she survived, and her only memories after it was the minute she kept struggling for air once she was brought to the surface.

The second time it was bad timing, while she was checking hidden behind a bush, little wild foxes interacting with each other. She should have took warning with the animals reaction and should have run away too when he heard the roar of a motor. The hunters didn't even check before shooting her below her knee, making her immobilized. The blood drenching the dirt seemed way more scary than the pain going through her body at that moment, and the way she felt like she was going to get murdered by the guys that actually took her and drove her to a health center.  
They apologized a lot. Wasabi was only 22, so she really didn't think about it a lot. Or she didn't want to.

The third time was just bad fate. The man that was looking for money inside their laboratory was just insane. They didn't have anything like that, if not counting how expensive the materials for their researches were. Wasabi still remembers the crash of glasses against the floor, the breaking of tubes making her ears hurt. She still sometimes remembers the surge of pain of pieces tearing the skin of her hands apart as she ran away from the impact.

She still remembers the hands over her thorat, taking away all the air for her lungs as she clutched with desperation at the arms pressing her. The little black dots filling her sight as she took the angry look in the face of a man she's never met before that night, and she absolutely fears him til this day.

Her daughter doesn't take very well her mood swings, a thing she couldn't control and wore her down more than it should have.   
Even if she knew, they would fight more and more often, her daughter growing frustrated.

"What's with you?" and "You've never been this way before" stuck with Wasabi for years, way long after her daughter left her life to never come back. The last straw was jerking from her embrace the time she tried to hug her spontaneously. But it wasn't on purpose, she'd have liked to tell her, she really struggled so much to let anyone touch her anymore.

A friend of a colleague gave her a chance that changed her life. She only went to that home to provide support to her friend after an awful accident that destroyed few lives.   
Little did she know how much it would stuck with her the image of the little girl playing in the garden, alone and quiet. She asked her name to her friend, and listened to the story behind her presence.  
There was something about the kid that made Wasabi felt like she would never be able to forget her, and it even surprised her when months later she was signing an adoption paper.   
She knew the girl would have a cute smile, but even expecting it didn't make it better than seeing it aimed at her.   
She asked Mustard to call her grandma, because she thought she was too old for being a mother.

It was silly, but things like that stick with you for a long time.

Mustard made Wasabi remember that she still had issues, but she felt nothing but resolution to overcome it one day. It was hard, to never push her back— but the most she grew the less frequent it became, like if Mustard became aware of the little discomfort and pain it provoked to her.

Wasabi decided it was better, but that she wouldn't stop trying, and she was the one to give always the first step from then on.

When she finished telling her everything, she wondered why Mustard was crying more than her. If there was something she loved so much of her daughter, was how pure and kind she was.

So Wasabi put her arms around her, and it felt less and less bad, even if just a little. It was warm and soft, and Wasabi thought she could get used to it, she could hug her little girl again.  
Mustard sobbed harder and that got the older woman more than she was expecting, feeling like if she just took the lid off and something combusted and got out of her chest, like a catharsis.

Wasabi put his chin over her head, and thought: It's okay,

_I'm gonna be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
